Phillip Ramphisa
My name is Phillip Ramphisa. I grew up in a typical rural South African village. Saying that my life was difficult is an understatement. We were a big family. My father had two wives. I had nine brothers and sisters. My mother suffered from schizophrenia. She was never at home. She was always away due to illness. When I was 11, my father left us and went to live with his second wife. So, when I entered my teens, I didn’t have a mother and I did not have a father. The only support I had were my brothers and sisters. They were children themselves, facing the same situation I was facing. There was nobody to look after us. There were no role models. There was nobody around to discipline us.
That might sound like fun. No discipline; freedom to do whatever you want. But it isn’t. It is hollow fun. Nobody took care of us. There was never any money. I would often go to bed without supper. Or go to school without breakfast. I had to walk to school in shoes that were torn and exposed my toes. I wrote earlier about walking a mile in a person’s shoes. Well, for my last two years at school I had to walk fourteen kilometers every day to get to class – in shoes with my toes sticking out. That is not fun. I had to ask my friends for their old clothes. That is not fun either. My self-esteem dropped. I felt very small. When I finished school, life did not get any better. The world was not waiting for me with a pot of gold. There was no fancy university or high-paying job. I couldn’t even further my studies because I didn’t have any money. For three years I was poor, unemployed, and not improving myself. I was wasting my life. That is a dangerous place to be.
That is when people become self-destructive: when they have nothing to inspire them, and nothing to lose. Many of my friends chose that path. Some of them are still on that path. Unemployed. Drug addicts. Alcoholics. Criminals. In jail. Dead.
I love my sisters. They are my family. But I watched each one of them give up on their dreams. They all became pregnant at a young age. Being a single mother with no work is not easy. There is a feeling of helplessness, just getting by, day-by-day, with no chance of your life miraculously changing for the better. All the plans my brothers and sisters talked about while we were growing up fell by the wayside. I am one of the fortunate ones. I am not better or worse than my siblings or my friends. I just had the good fortune to make the right choices. When life was difficult, I found I had the ability to survive.
Today, I am thriving. I have two master’s degrees and have held management jobs in various multinational companies. However, when I look back I almost cannot believe that I have achieved all that. How could I succeed when so many others failed? For years, I have wanted to use my story to help other people, especially the young, to develop the strength to make the right choices, to survive the negative influences, to emerge as stronger people. I have spent years asking myself questions. What does it take for a person to succeed? Why do some people give up on their dreams? Why is it that some people who have better circumstances and supportive environments, still do not succeed? Why do some people make it, no matter what their circumstances?
After years of reflecting on what it was within me that kept me focused, to succeed and be happy, I found the answers; and I want to share these answers. I work with children, teens, and young adults to show them that success is within them. I show them how to use their individuality to offer something unique to the world. I show them how to achieve their goals and position themselves to be happy, no matter what their circumstances. I give them practical advice on how to find the energy to get out of bed and face life, head on. I also help them to develop the skills they need to build healthy relationships, whether it is friendship, dating, or family. This is critical, because every successful person has needed a helping hand along the way. And young people need to know how to identify the men and women who will be instrumental to their journey of success. As a motivational speaker, and as a mentor, I strive to bring hope, encouragement and practical steps to people who need it. I teach young people how to survive, and show them how to thrive. I help them to change their lives from ordinary to extraordinary. Most of all, I tell them about the miles I have walked in my shoes – and give them the courage to keep walking themselves.