A romantic-comedy novel about a failed magician.
"Poignant comedy genius at its best" - The Guardian
"The perfect summer tonic! Hilarious!" - Uri Geller
"Reading the hilarious story from the bus, where James unsuccessfully fights his biological urgency, I only narrowly escaped pissing myself from laughter." - Chris Wasshuber
When twenty-something James Valentine seeks refuge from the rain, the only shelter he can find is under the canopy of a fortune teller's dilapidated shed in Whitby. Madam Lulu invites him in and reveals that he's going to meet three women who will influence his life in ways that he could never imagine.
Over the next few years, the predictions prove uncannily accurate - but is a happy ending also in the cards?
A fruit cake, an International drugs dealer and the Heimlich Manoeuvre all play pivotal roles in this hilarious 1980's tale of romantic failure and adventure.
- Chapter 1: The Shed
- Chapter 2: The beginning
- Chapter 3: Zombies
- Chapter 4: TV Stars
- Chapter 5: Jennifer
- Chapter 6: In the Club
- Chapter 7: Salt & Vinegar
- Chapter 8: Swept off her Fiat!
- Chapter 9: In the wash
- Chapter 10: How many partners is acceptable?
- Chapter 11: Weeks of socialising
- Chapter 12: The M62
- Chapter 13: The Parent Trap
- Chapter 14: The Christmas Dilemma
- Chapter 15: Jack's Surprise!
- Chapter 16: The National Express
- Chapter 17: Things Happen for a Reason
- Chapter 18: The Amsterdam
- Chapter 19: Sarah
- Chapter 20: It's the weekend
- Chapter 21: Mine's a Double!
- Chapter 22: First night
- Chapter 23: Bad Timing
- Chapter 24: The Special Guest
- Chapter 25: The Crispy Bacon Sandwich
- Chapter 26: The Bin Liner
- Chapter 27: Custard Creams
- Chapter 28: New Year's Eve
- Chapter 29: North by NorthWest
- Chapter 30: The Buzz Club
- Chapter 31: Claire, the moment I saw you, I swear ...
- Chapter 32: Ironside
- Chapter 33: A Big Moment
- Chapter 34: Rupert's News
- Chapter 35: Wedding Talk
- Chapter 36: The Isle of Wight
- Chapter 37: Two days to the Wedding
- Chapter 38: The day before the wedding
- Chapter 39: Wedding Day
- Chapter 40: The Wedding
- Chapter 41: The Cutting of the Cake
- Chapter 42: Then What?
- Chapter 43: Just over twelve Months Later
- Chapter 44: Back to Whitby
- What Happened Next?
1st edition 2019, 277 pages.
word count: 79614 which is equivalent to 318 standard pages of text